The office quotes (part 6).

A.K.A. The best argument ever for not working in an engineering department.
Also see the Who does what table at the end.
2003-March 2004 April-May 2004 June-July 2004 Aug-Oct 2004 Nov 2004-Jan 2005 Feb 2005-Jun 2005 Quotes Index Front page

"Erm, why are you laughing at me?"
(Bill to Jane, Feb 2, 2005)
Bert: "So you should try the Google desktop. It is very neat. You can search on your email and everything else on your computer instantly."
Ben: "Yeah well, that Google desktop is in beta release, so when I asked IS if I could install it..."
Bert: "Oh, don't do that!"
Ben: "Yeah well, they said not to install it since it's beta. There's also this Microsoft program that's equivalent and it is OK."
Bert: "Yeah, but Microsoft doesn't have the cool features that Google has and it's not as user friendly."
Matt: "Besides, we hate Microsoft."
(Feb 3, 2005)
"Oh, look at the color of that car! It's yellow, but it's green, but it's also brown!"
(Alice, Feb 16, 2005)
Alan: "South of Los Gatos on highway 17, GPS is very bad, the satellites drop out by 50% or so."
Adam: "Oh, I tested around there for back in the day [several years ago] and it was fine."
Alice: "Maybe, the trees grew since then."
(March 2, 2005)
Al: "You know, the almanac is always a day early, and it can't be a time-zone issue, it must be a bug."
ALbert: "Yeah, it's either that or the earth is spinning the other way."
(March 2, 2005)
"Oh my, I think I've turned Californian."
(Frank, March 2005)
"Just because something's too small to see don't mean that it's not invisible."
(Hugh, March 14, 2005)
Harry: "Hmm, when did it get so late?"
Matt: "A little while ago."
(Mar 16, 2005)
"The easy thing to do is not the hard thing."
(Frank, Apr 4, 2005)
Hugh: "In order to be a succesful artist, you need to have an exotic name. For instance, you've never seen a John Smith at the Louvre or the Smithsonian, have you?"
Alice: "Mmmm......maybe, but I don't go around asking people their names."
(April 5th, 2005)
Frank: "So, do you know anything more about this virus?"
Matt: "Just that it shuts down networks."
Adam: "I believe that's called IS."
(April 22, 2005)
Alice: "You had a question? Wait, hold on, I've got my hand caught in my sweater..."
(April 26, 2005)
Jane, pointing to the area around her desk: "[sneeze] This area here is full of sick people..."
(April 27, 2005)
Hugh: [launches a plastic plunger across the lab using compressed air] "Now if only it had some butane in it..."
(April 27, 2005)
"I was going to be nice, but then I thought about it and figured, 'why bother?'"
(Alice, May 2, 2005)
"Erm, your jokes are funnier when they are not funny."
(Alice to Harry, May 9, 2005)
"Oh, yeah, I haven't had out company coffee in years. As far as I recall, it tastes like tree bark... mixed with ground up tires and a pinch of bitumen."
(Ferris. May 9, 2005)
"Oh, I don't mind skiing in the snow."
(Overheard, Break Room, May 18th, 2005)
"PLLs are a little bit like the Loch Ness Monster, because they're somewhere ominously hiding beneath the murky waters where you can't see them, but you know they're there and you're going to have to deal with them eventually no matter how much you try to avoid them, and the possibility of the experience just fills you with irrational dread."
(Alice, Jun 23, 2005)
"You can always tell when someone is scrambling voice over the phone channel, because it sounds like dolphins."
(Alan, June 30, 2005)
Who does what:
AlgorithumsAl, Alan, Albert, Andrew, Angus, Adam, Alice
Firmware Eng. Frank, Ferris
Hardware Eng. Hugh, Harry, Henry, Holden
Managment Bill, Ben, Bob
Mechanical Eng. Matt, Mark
Operations Oliver
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