The office quotes (part 5).

A.K.A. The best argument ever for not working in an engineering department.
Also see the Who does what table at the end.
2003-March 2004 April-May 2004 June-July 2004 Aug-Oct 2004 Nov 2004-Jan 2005 Feb 2005-Jun 2005 Quotes Index Front page

Harry: "We have to speak to people on the telephone now, we can't just fiddle things across the internet? What's the world coming to?"
Hugh "Its senses."
(Nov 10, 2004)
Andrew: "So I started smelling something bad and I didn't know what was going on, then I heard a pop and then I heard a series of pops and I could smell something burning. Then I saw sparks coming out of the inverter and so now it doesn't work."
Alice: "So your power supply blew up too?"
Andrew: "Yeah, and probably all the equpment I was testing too."
(Nov. 10, 2004)
"And what I don't understand, the inverter fuse didn't blow. So I'm thinking of taking it back to the store and saying: 'This inverter doesn't work, the fuse didn't blow when I shorted it.'"
(Andrew, Nov. 10, 2004)
Andrew: "Hey, Harry, guess what? I figured it out about the inverters! Turns out, it wasn't the inverters that were not working, it was actually my setup..."
Harry: "And how many inverters did you blow up to figure this out, three?"
Andrew: "errr... four actually. Including yours."
(November 19, 2004)
"Well, I don't want to necessarily come off as the Gestapo, but ..."
(Al, Nov 17, 2004)
"You know, for the first time ever, maybe we should write a spec for this. That way marketing, manufacturing and support can fight over what they want and then I can do what I was going to do anyway."
(Frank, November 19, 2004)
Alice: "So I'm supposed to fix this problem, and it comes to me like: 'O.K., one product is not behaving the same way as the other, fix it.'"
Harry: "But what do they mean? Fix what? Fix which one? What do they mean it doesn't 'work'?"
Alice: "That's exactly it, that's exactly what I'm trying to find out. They run all these tests and they're not controlled, with different antennas and at different times and with different software and it is all just a mess."
Harry: "Wait, where is this coming from? Who is 'they'?"
Alice: "Somewhere. Marketing. The ether. I don't know. All I know is that amidst all this cloud of confused information, all I get are these little droplets of feeble rain..."
(Dec 17th, 2004)
"I'm being chased by a grommet!"
(Matt, Dec 20, 2004).
Matt: "I'm glad we went to that sushi place for lunch. Two of the things I never seem to get enough of is sushi and pizza..."
Alice: "You should try sushi pizza then."
Matt (to Frank): "You see, one of the things about hanging out with engineers is that they always try to solve your problems in the most straight-forward way possible, the result of which is sometimes very unappealing."
(Jan 6, 2005)
Alan: "So, have you tried that green tea?"
Alice: "This one here? No. It's got some weird herbs added to it. Echinacea, what is that anyway? Isn't it supposed to lower your blood pressure or something nasty like that?"
Alan: "Nah. It is good for colds. Eating it is as dangerous as eating... mint leaves."
Alice: "Wow. That's very dangerous. 'Cause then people may confuse you with a rabbit."
Alan: "Ah. I see. That would explain a lot of what's been going on in my life lately."
(Jan 10, 2005)
Alice: "I'm quoting you on that one! Remind me, OK."
Matt: "O.K. you're reminded."
Harry: "Wait, what was that quote again?"
Alice: [very long pause] "Uh... I forgot."
(Jan 17, 2005).
Who does what:
AlgorithumsAl, Alan, Albert, Andrew, Angus, Adam, Alice
Firmware Eng. Frank, Ferris
Hardware Eng. Hugh, Harry, Henry, Holden
Managment Bill, Ben, Bob
Mechanical Eng. Matt, Mark
Operations Oliver
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