The office quotes (part 4).

A.K.A. The best argument ever for not working in an engineering department.
Also see the Who does what table at the end.
2003-March 2004 April-May 2004 June-July 2004 Aug-Oct 2004 Nov 2004-Jan 2005 Feb 2005-Jun 2005 Quotes Index Front page

"Can you believe it, this book was written by some author?"
(Frank, Aug 2, 2004)
Henry: "We've got the LEDs working on the new prototype."
Bill: "Ship it."
(Aug 2, 2004)
"Oh wait...no, nevermind. Ignore what I was thinking."
(Alan. Aug 4, 2004)
Alice: "Banana cake. See, that's something good. Why hasn't anyone ever invented that?"
Andrew: "Well, there's banana bread..."
Alice: "Yeah, but if banana bread is good, imagine how good banana cake would be..."
(Aug 4, 2004)
"So, are there any other known problems that we haven't found yet?"
(Ben. Aug 13, 2004)
"I see I'm competing with ice-cream."
(CEO to all staff, Aug, 2004).
"Why do all my quotes in the quotes book make me look stupid?"
(Jane, Aug 18, 2004).
"So, remind me again why it is that you're still working here?"
(Adam to Henry, Aug 19, 2004)
Alice: "Yeah, so that watermelon ice cream, it was pretty horrible but it had the redeeming factor of the tiny chocolate seeds, which was like a small taste of goodness..."
Henry: "...in the middle of a chemical factory."
(August 19, 2004).
"Yeh, I get all freaked out when the laws of physics don't apply."
(Alice, Aug 19, 2004).
Alice: "Guess what. We accomplished the impossible!"
Henry: "What? You finally managed to say something sensible?"
(Aug 19th, 2004).
"Blech, my break thing's broken."
(Ferris, Aug 24, 2004).
"I think, and although I cannot with all certainty therefore conclude I exist, I can at least therefore conclude that I'm not an idiot."
(Alice, August, 2004).
Don't say 'goodness measure', say 'happy factor'.
(Henry, August 24, 2004).
"You know you've been programming too much when you start writing sentences and you end them with a semicolon... I stated doing that."
(Albert, August 27, 2004).
Alan: "So, do you guys in your group do code reviews or something?"
Engineers from different group: [Silence]...[Exchange looks]...[Loud laughter]
(Aug 30, 2004).
"The best way to store orange juice in the fridge is inside an orange."
(lunchroom, Sept 7, 2004).
"One of the threats to the integrity of the WAAS-corrected user position solution is that of an anomalous GPS broadcast signal, also known as an 'evil waveform'".
(Quoted from a technical paper, Sept 8, 2004).
Matt: "What are friends for."
Henry: "I have no idea. But co-workers are to make fun of you."
(Sept 8, 2004).
"It's like glue, it's not just an adhesive."
(Jane, Sept 9, 2004).
"When you're delegating stuff to someone else, try to make sure it doesn't get delegated back to you."
(Andrew, Sept, 22, 2004).
Adam: "We should go to this restaurant that Matt recommended. Though I don't know if we should trust the recommendation..."
Andrew: "Actually, Matt has really good taste in food."
Adam: "Really?"
Alice & Andrew: "Yes."
Andrew:"He cooks himself too!"
(September 23, 2004)
"This water has been triple filtered."
(Sign above drinking fountain)
Alice: "I like your shoes, they're cool."
Andrew: "I like them too, 'cause they're sneakers, but they look like shoes. Or they're shoes, but they look like sneakers, you know?"
Alice: "Yeah, they're shoe-neakers!"
(Sept 22, 2004)
Animal Farm, revisited:
Alan: "In this system, we're assuming all noises are Gaussian."
Alice: "Yeah, but some are more Gaussian than others."
(Oct 15, 2004).
"That's good that we're finding all these errors. 'From errors you find solutions'. Or some deep philosophical statement. You know what I mean. Make one up."
(Alan, Oct 15, 2004)
Andrew: "What is that marketing guys job?"
Andrew: "He's an artist. His job is to confuse people into buying our products."
(Oct 18, 2004)
Who does what:
AdministrationJane
AlgorithumsAl, Alan, Albert, Andrew, Angus, Adam, Alice
Firmware Eng. Frank, Ferris
Hardware Eng. Hugh, Harry, Henry, Holden
Managment Bill, Ben, Bob
Mechanical Eng. Matt, Mark
Operations Oliver
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